a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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