There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize