I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Come on in and take your pants off
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