I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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