She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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