Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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