who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
