There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
