i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
