you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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