Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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