we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Who died my cat blue again?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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