wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
