That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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