Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
