epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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