So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
