even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
