Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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