Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
