Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
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