i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
