The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail