At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
