you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
