We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
