I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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