you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
