Pregnant stripper...not hot.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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