Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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