But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
