bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
