Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
