I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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