she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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