i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just tell him i said nine months
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you will always have a special place in my vag
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
