I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
