it was like his penis was on wheels.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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