i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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