bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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