youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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