I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
