Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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