My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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