O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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