oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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