fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
