The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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