just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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