my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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