I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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