i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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