the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
