I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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