What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
