When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
