I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter