god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
this will be a night to untag.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
